After the Intermission: Abby's Ear

I have worked and worked on these and they are still out of order.
(Even though you know the story, I'll post it again so that when I look back someday, I'll remember things I might have forgotten.)

In early May, Abby said one time that her ear hurt and the pain went away without anything further happening. She didn't run a fever and didn't seem to have any other symptoms of ear infection. I didn't think much about it because at the time, we all had sinus infections and allergies and my ears were hurting off and on too so I figured she just had some of the same thing going on.

She mentioned it one other time around the 9th of May and again seemed "off" for a day, but never ran much of a fever and seemed perfectly fine the next day.

May 16th

Then on May 16th, we were doing school and she started crying suddenly around lunch time. She had previously been laughing and playing and acting normal. I asked her what was wrong and she said, "It feels like something's pushing right here."
I pushed back her hair and her ear was visibly bulging off of her head. I ran her upstairs to show Brandon and he whisked her off to the Emergency Room.

While he was putting on his shoes both of us were asking her things like, "Did you bump your head? Did you fall? Did someone hit you? Did a bug bite you? (spider bite?)"
She said, "It happened last night. It kind of hurt a little bit before bed, but it went away."

(This is from earlier that morning when she was acting normal)

Emma was very nervous about Abby being gone. She knew something wasn't right. You can see we abandoned school very suddenly as it's still spread all over the desk behind her.

Brandon sent me a message saying that she had to get an IV and have blood work done. It was a severe ear infection that probably started in the middle ear and moved into the surrounding tissues. At that time, they didn't know if it was in the bone or not and the CAT scan they did caused enough concern for them to send her from our local hospital to the bigger children's one 45 minutes away.

They came by the house on the way to the bigger hospital and I sent a bag of stuff with them. One of the things I sent with them was Abby's doll Zoe. Zoe got to go back to surgery with Abby even after Brandon couldn't be there anymore when they put her under.

They decided that the infection was in the bone a little too and they would have to clean that out.
When Abby went into surgery, I found a babysitter to watch the kids for the night and went to join Brandon.

Apparently, Mama brains can go on auto pilot too under stress.

I walked in to the hospital while Abby was in surgery and there was this desk. The guy was like "who are you here to see?"

I said, "Emmaleigh Harris. E-M-M-A-L-E-I-G-H. We had to go and spell it crazy. Emma.. Emmaleigh..."

He replied, "Well, that's not coming up in the system. Are you sure she's here?"

I said, "Yes. She's here. She's in surgery right now. My husband just texted me... I know she's here. Emmaleigh Harris. Maybe they spelled it Emily?"

He checked several spellings of Emma, Emily, Emaleigh Emalei, Haris, Harriss... "Nope. I don't see her in here."

I was like, "Um, I'll just go call my husband and see if I can figure out what's going on."

I got ahold of Brandon and he waved at me from an upper floor window and the guard gave me a sticker and let me go up. It wasn't until 30 minutes later when we were getting to go see Abby that I realized what I'd been saying.

I don't know if I was just tired or stressed or if it was because I'd just spoken with Emma when I'd dropped her off at the babysitters or if it was because Emma is the only other one who's been to the emergency room...twice...so my brain just jumped to her...I don't know, but I was on auto pilot and that guy probably thought I was some creepy lady trying to sneak in to kidnap a kid or something.

I arrived as the surgeon was briefing Brandon on how the surgery went. It had gone well and they were pretty sure they'd gotten all the infection. They had put a drain behind her ear to catch what was left of the fluids that they were draining out. They put her on some powerful general antibiotics until they could grow cultures from the stuff removed from her ear to figure out what was wrong with her.

When they finally let us go in to see Abby, she was already awake and had been talking to the nurses and neurologists. It was strange though. She was there, but she was very "not there" yet either. She was kind of wooden and robotic. She had a glazed look on her face and though she reached for our hands, it was just different. She was answering their questions like "What's your name" and squeezing their fingers and following the light and raising her feet. I thought maybe she was still a little drugged, but mostly just tired because it was 11 or 12 at night by this time. I didn't realize she was more or less on auto pilot at this time. She had the strangest glazed expression on her face. I don't have a picture of it, but it was so unlike Abby that I actually feared she did have damage they didn't know about yet.

(This is her before her memory begins. She was in and out of sleep as the drugs wore off.)

When we walked in, Wall-E was on the TV and she was kind of watching it when she wasn't sleeping. It was probably in the middle of the movie. As it was going off, Brandon made Zoe a ear cast also. I later asked Abby if we were in the room when she woke up from surgery or not and she said, "Yes. You were there."

I asked, "What were we doing?"

She said, "Wall-E was going off and Daddy was making Zoe a ear bandaid."

(This was probably 45 minutes after we'd been admitted to the room and that's where her memories start. So that even though she was "there" she wasn't really "there" yet. She doesn't remember anything before this. You can see some of the wooden expression in her face still here, but this is about the time she started to come out of it, I guess.

The first real, drug-free looking smile I remember from her was in the early morning hours. It was getting light outside, but I'm not sure what time it was...still pretty early. A nurse asked her "Who are those people over there."
She leaned around the nurse, caught sight of me looking at her and grinned really big, "Mama and Daddy!!!"
It melted my heart and made me nearly cry.

May 17th

She was in the ICU for the first part of her stay. They came in once an hour and asked her "What's your name?" "Who are those people over there?" (us) "Do you remember where you are?" "Squeeze my fingers." "Lift your feet." "Give me a big smile." "Look at the light." "Follow the light." All of this was to check for signs of brain damage or brain infection. In one of the briefings they gave us, they said since she's a child the area where the infection was located was closer to her brain so they had to watch for signs that the infection had found a shortcut to the brain after the surgery. They had also seen signs of swelling on her brain so they scheduled her for an MRI to check on things.

She wanted to look at one of the books I'd sent in the goody bag and here she is reading the book and watching TV at the same time. One of the nurses asked her about the book and she told them all about it.

The nurses kept asking her if she had any pain at all and she kept telling them no so they gave her a little tylenol to keep any pain at bay, but seemed impressed with her lack of pain.

They brought her some fun crafts to work on during her stay. She really liked painting this little chest.

She was really missing her Emma at this point and kept talking about her.

Abby: who is taking care of Emma...and the others?

"I think Emma is going to like the chest I'm painting. She'll say it's so pretty."

The babysitter did send me a few pictures of the kids eating breakfast before church and I showed Abby.

She said, "I think my Maddie is saying "I really miss my Abby"

"Mama, can you take a picture to show Emma how I made it?"

Sometime after this, they cleared her to eat and her first meal included a boiled egg and scrambled eggs with cheese. The scrambled eggs impressed her so much she told Emma all about them and Emma wanted to make them for her when she came home.

The MRI came earlier than they had predicted. I couldn't go with her because I was pregnant but Brandon got to go with her. She wore special goggles that had a movie playing on the eye part and had the movie sounds playing by her ears. Here she is all bundled up to go down to the MRI.

After the MRI they

They moved her to a new room out of the ICU shortly after the MRI. She was coloring with her magic markers that only color on the special paper provided. Brandon had got less sleep than me since he was coming off of the night shift and I had awakened him in the middle of his previous "night" and because I guess I'm just able to sleep through stuff better? Or maybe because I had the couch the first night and he had the chair and he didn't know how to recline the chair so he was all balled up on it. He's catching up here in this picture.

I can't remember now, but either while Brandon was sleeping or during the time he went down to get the kids and the babysitters and bring them up to Abby's room, she and I had this conversation:
She was like, "I really wish I could see my brothers and sisters." I said, "Well, they are coming up here to visit you." She smiled. "Really?" I said, "Yes. But Abby, I have to go home with them tonight. I'm going to take them home and it's going to be you and Daddy at the hospital. If you need to go potty or get a drink or something you can just call, "Daddy! Daddy!" and he will wake up and help you but if you need more help and daddy won't wake up, you can push this button right here and a nurse will come help you." She burst into tears and I held her hands and said, "What's wrong? The scary part is over. It's all done now." She said, "I'm scared." "What are you scared of?" I asked. She reached out to me with shaky hands and said, "I'm scared I'll never see you again." I told her she was going to come home in a few days and that she just needed to get a little better but that she was doing really well and that the scary stuff was done and that we'd get the puppy she had been telling all the nurses about and she'd get to play with me and the puppy and the other kids again soon. She hugged onto me really tight but didn't look convinced.

I had to leave soon after that, so I didn't know if she believed me or not, but I told her again before I left that I was going to come back and she'd come home soon. I don't know what was going through her mind but it brought back previous conversations about people getting really sick and sometimes the hospital can't fix them and they die. I wondered if she had been sent there to die. :( It broke my heart.

Our babysitters are some really great friends we know through our church. They took our kids to church and then brought them to the hospital after church. They fed them McDonalds and bought a stuffed dog to bring to Abby when they came. This is the moment the kids walked into the room after they were brought up to see her.

I took the kids home from the hospital and we ate supper, watched Ducktails on Brandon's computer (it's not on the TV and they wanted to see what it was because I'd been singing the theme song a few days before.)

Jubi: Noah, where's Abby?
Noah: She's at the doctor.
Jubi: Noah, where's Abby?
Noah: She's at the hospital.
Jubi: Noah, where's Abby?
Noah: Doctor.
Jubi: Noah, where's Abby?
Noah: You know!
Jubi: Noah, where's Abby?
Noah: Museum.
Jubi: Mom, Noah said Abby is at the Museum!
Noah: Jubi! She's at the doctor! Stop asking me.
Jubi: Noah, where's Abby?
Noah: Doctor.
Jubi: Noah, where's Abby?

Brandon is the best hospital companion ever. He's done this with me for the birth of our kids five times now and he's had two hospital stays with our children now. He's always so attentive. He makes a point to come hold your hand or rub your back or something every time he enters and exits the room. He keeps the drink cup full and covers you up in the night if you seem cold. I love watching how much he cares from this other perspective. It's easy to forget how much he is doing when he's doing it for you but watching him with Abby just reminds me how special he is. He's such a servant hearted man and loves his family so much. He's especially gifted to be so great even in these trying times when he's getting so little sleep and most of it on an uncomfortable chair/couch. I'm proud of him. I don't feel half as attentive in that same situation.

I love you, Brandon. I'm so glad you get to stay the night with our daughter and do all these things and so much more for her. ❤

May 18th

The next day, the kids were up before it was light and they were anxious to go see Abby. I made them go back to bed.

I got news that the MRI had come back and everything looked good. There was no sign of swelling or brain infection or damage. They had also figured out her antibiotics from her cultures and, though I didn't know it, they were going to remove the drain. At this point, they were predict at least 2 more days stay in the hospital.

When we arrived, Abby was playing this video game. Brandon had made a run to Walmart for a few essentials and had bought her a few games to play. They had already removed the ear bandage and her drain tube.

Noah, of course, had to try every button and lever and whatever else that might could get him into trouble and Maddie was super grouchy and kept walking around the room crying.

Brandon went home to shower and pay bills and whatever else he had to do for a few hours. While he was gone, I brushed most of Abby's hair (not near the injury) and pulled it over to the side in a braid to help keep it out of the way for the remainder of the stay.

Around this time, someone delivered flowers from our friends at church. Abby loved them so much she wanted to eat with them on her trayside later.

We hung out and played for several hours together.

Maddie was unhappy and Jubi was bored but the older 4 were content to play the games together.

Then Abby decided she didn't want to sit in bed any longer. She got up and began roaming the room almost faster than I could drag around her IV tree.

She asked me if I could take a picture of her ear so she could see it. This looks worse than it is. Most of the shiney stuff is goo to help it heal and all of the blood is actually dried even though it's still red. It was all crusty and old stuff. You can't even really see the drain here though. It's about where the little curl is stuck to the middl back of her ear.

Elizabeth sent this for the next baby and I pulled it out of the mail right when we were leaving for the hospital and decided to check it out.

Maddie took a nap for about 30 minutes to an hour on the couch bed. (er, uh, I mean, hard as a rock bed.) When she woke up, she was less grouchy and became completely happy when Abby spent some time with her.

Abby followed Maddie around the room for a while

Here she is taking a nap with Abby's fluffy pink dog. This goes up there but I can't get it to move.

While Maddie was napping, Jubi was entertaining herself.
"Mom, I see you! Mom, I see you! Mom!"

More entertaining. Gross!

Soooo bored...there are like 3 toys in this room and Maddie has them all wrapped up in such a way that I can't get to them.

Entertaining...

Maddie napping, Jubi playing under the bed, the big kids playing with the games.

Still napping.

At some point, Jubilee wanted to try on Abby's leg massagers. They are there to keep clots form forming. She giggled and said they tickled.

The boys wanted to try too. (see Noah reaching for it in the above picture?) Noah, who never sits still ever, realized this was more like a tether than a fun thing and said, "I hate this."

Isaiah seemed to like it and had to try it for a little longer.

It's a bad picture, but here Abby is eating with the flowers on her tray.

More Maddie and Abby cuddle time.

Maddie was most happy this day with Abby's attention.

Another bad picture, but that's a big truck right behind me in a tiny parking lot. You can see him in the rearview. In the front you can see how tight the garage is and you are actually looking at the widest lane because it's 2 lanes in the front of me but only one direction behind me. I had to have Brandon come help me out. I don't think he was happy about it, but I sure appreciated it.

We went home, ate Taco Bell, and watched more Ducktails. (I know what DVD seasons to buy them next. ;) )

May 19th

Brandon called and told me that they were switching to oral antibiotics and that most likely she would be released the next day. We decided to clean the house a little. I didn't know if I was going to drive to the hospital or not. It was raining pretty hard and I was kind of dreading the parking garage again so we were procrastinating.

The kids kept asking about Abby and "when can we pick her up?" and every time they mentioned her name, Maddie burst into tears. I told this to Brandon and he sent me a few pictures for them.

(this one is way out of order. It's the one Brandon took of Abby for his nervous little Emma. No needles showing and a smile--Abby also called on the camera phone and talked to Emma saying, "I'm okay." because Emma was really, really nervous.

These go at the top... showing Abby's swollen ear.

I showed the kids the pictures Brandon had sent. They were excited, but when it was Maddie's turn, she snatched my phone, hugged it tight and started walking around with it. I grabbed a camera and tried to take a picture of her hugging the phone but this is all I got.

After that she started tapping the phone and looking at the picture saying, "Ab-ab. My Ab-ab. My Ab-ab."

Then Brandon told me that both of Abby's IV's had gone bad and that the hospital policy was that she had to have an IV the whole time she was there. So after evaluating the situation, they decided not to poke her again only to drip fluids through an IV to keep it open since it wasn't needed for anything else. Instead, they just went ahead and discharged her.

I didn't tell the kids she was coming home. I wanted it to be a surprise. They nearly knocked her over so Brandon was giving them instructions on how to not bang her ear or squish it.